I had always been reluctant to throw a birthday party for Rain, because I thought, "She doesn't care it's her birthday. Let's have a party when she's actually old enough to say 'party.'" I told Tim I thought we should just get a little cake for her and go on a family picnic.
A funny thing happened. Tim reflected for a minute then voted me out. He said we were going to have a party for Rain, and he was sort of set on it. Since then I have speculated why, but I haven't asked him directly. Whatever the reason, his little girl is having a party, so we'll be blowing up balloons tonight.
We decided to have a BBQ and call it a C.R.I.B. party (Cake, Ribs, Ice cream, & Balloons). We've billed it as a family-oriented, low-key event. But doesn't "event" automatically trump "low-key"? We'll see ...
But another thing is on my mind at the moment. Two things, in fact.
First, I have been blogging about Rain's life since she was in the womb. Since she's been born, I've had to write only when I get a chance, which is not often. Perhaps this is the time to stop. I mean, will Rain be 16 saying, "Could you, like, quit bloggin' about me? My friends are sooooo creeped out"?
Hmmm. Will give myself to Rain's official birthday to decide on this ...
Second, I have a bit of a project on my hands that I'd like to share with you. Stay tuned.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Now You Tell Me
The American Academy of Pediatrics has a favorite pastime: making recommendations. They have ideas about everything, and when Rain was first born, we let the Academy's opinion trump our own common sense. Nevertheless, when I was told the Academy recommended that babies be breastfed until they are a year old, I tried to mentally prepare for the loooong year ahead of me.
Now, here we are, one year later. I have dutifully nursed Rain under all kinds of unsatisfactory conditions. I ate meals cold, woke up at all hours of the night, went home early from events, ignored back pain, and more to meet the Academy's goal. True, Rain always looked healthy (ruddy cheeks are kind of cute), and she never once this past year, not once I tell you, had an earache, cold, or anything else besides a few fevers (lasting only a few hours) when she teethed (the Academy will tell you I'm making that last part up, but honest, she felt feverish during bad teething bouts). The problem is, Rain (like her other breastfed counterparts, I'm sure) is almost comically addicted to nursing. We have all kinds of running jokes in our home over her attachment. We often refer half-seriously to Rain's "breast friends." I told my sister the other day, "I can't even go into a dressing room with Rain anymore. The other day, she was with me as I was trying on a shirt. After a second, I was like, 'Who dimmed the lights??'" I won't even hold Rain horizontally, because she thinks it's snack time. I know it's not Rain's fault; for cryin' out loud, I spent the first 3 months of her life encouraging her to nurse with gusto. But now she seems a little too wise about the whole thing. It's almost as if I waited too long to wean her, and now it's going to get ugly. I waited because (here it comes) the Academy recommended it.
So, today I decided I was not going to let Rain have her usual afternoon nursing session. I thought, "Hey, it's ONE time ... just a test run ... no reason to panic ..."
Results: Ugly.
I mean, she cried, and cried, and cried, until I thought I could hear the upstairs neighbor joining in. After 15 minutes of her screams, I caved. I dusted off my old standby parenting manual (What to Expect in the First Year) and read all the techniques on how to wean. Under the list of times not to try to wean? During a major change, such as moving to a new house.
Doh!
Now, here we are, one year later. I have dutifully nursed Rain under all kinds of unsatisfactory conditions. I ate meals cold, woke up at all hours of the night, went home early from events, ignored back pain, and more to meet the Academy's goal. True, Rain always looked healthy (ruddy cheeks are kind of cute), and she never once this past year, not once I tell you, had an earache, cold, or anything else besides a few fevers (lasting only a few hours) when she teethed (the Academy will tell you I'm making that last part up, but honest, she felt feverish during bad teething bouts). The problem is, Rain (like her other breastfed counterparts, I'm sure) is almost comically addicted to nursing. We have all kinds of running jokes in our home over her attachment. We often refer half-seriously to Rain's "breast friends." I told my sister the other day, "I can't even go into a dressing room with Rain anymore. The other day, she was with me as I was trying on a shirt. After a second, I was like, 'Who dimmed the lights??'" I won't even hold Rain horizontally, because she thinks it's snack time. I know it's not Rain's fault; for cryin' out loud, I spent the first 3 months of her life encouraging her to nurse with gusto. But now she seems a little too wise about the whole thing. It's almost as if I waited too long to wean her, and now it's going to get ugly. I waited because (here it comes) the Academy recommended it.
So, today I decided I was not going to let Rain have her usual afternoon nursing session. I thought, "Hey, it's ONE time ... just a test run ... no reason to panic ..."
Results: Ugly.
I mean, she cried, and cried, and cried, until I thought I could hear the upstairs neighbor joining in. After 15 minutes of her screams, I caved. I dusted off my old standby parenting manual (What to Expect in the First Year) and read all the techniques on how to wean. Under the list of times not to try to wean? During a major change, such as moving to a new house.
Doh!
Monday, May 19, 2008
Boyz in the Sink Fan
The ONLY kiddie song she'll run to hear when I play it on the computer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGaDjSXhB8s
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGaDjSXhB8s
Friday, May 16, 2008
Vanilla
In ten days, Rain will be a year old. In two weeks, we'll close on a house. Would we be buying a home if Rain wasn't here? I think ... no. Without Rain, Tim & I would probably have kept our roots from taking ground and used our money to travel. We might've upgraded to a super-sweet 'mobile & perhaps dinosaur flat screen.
Today I packed a few boxes while my sister watched Rain. I tried to remember what life was like before Rain and imagine what life would be like without her. I used to come home from work to a quiet apartment. Tim would be at work still, and I would casually read the mail, make dinner, and read a chapter or two of a novel. If I wanted to go to the gym, I did. If I didn't feel like going until later, no big deal. The apartment was quiet, but I never thought about that. I never noticed it. Nobody notices vanilla.
The first few weeks after Rain was born, I longed for vanilla. The new flavor was hard to take, because I had developed a taste for vanilla. There was nothing wrong with vanilla, so why, oh why, did I ever leave it?
Almost a year has passed, and I can say this for sure: there is no going back to vanilla. Even if the unthinkable happened and Tim left and took Rain with him, there is no going back to vanilla. Rain has been my companion every day for one year. I will never forget this year, because it is the year a stranger came into my life and showed me there's more to it than comfort, sameness, my way, safety--vanilla.
The funny thing is, Tim & I talked, talked, and talked about all the changes a child would bring into our lives, and ha! I still underestimated Rain. She took our little lives, politely admired their quaintness, and quickly deposited them into the kitchen disposal.
So what now? On her birthday, I will take her to a spot near where I live. There is a small wooded area that is always cool, no matter how hot the weather is. Once, when I was very pregnant, I walked past that spot as I was trying to exercise. I remember stopping there and wanting to talk to Rain. I told her all the things mothers tell their babies to let them know that it's safe to come out. I don't know how to explain it but perhaps to say that if you have ever been given something that was irreplaceable, something someone asked you to take care of that was precious to them, you have an idea of how I felt. I had this thought that Rain wasn't created by me but for me. It was humbling.
I told my belly how happy I was and thanked God for this chance at being more. Not at having more, but being more than vanilla.
Today I packed a few boxes while my sister watched Rain. I tried to remember what life was like before Rain and imagine what life would be like without her. I used to come home from work to a quiet apartment. Tim would be at work still, and I would casually read the mail, make dinner, and read a chapter or two of a novel. If I wanted to go to the gym, I did. If I didn't feel like going until later, no big deal. The apartment was quiet, but I never thought about that. I never noticed it. Nobody notices vanilla.
The first few weeks after Rain was born, I longed for vanilla. The new flavor was hard to take, because I had developed a taste for vanilla. There was nothing wrong with vanilla, so why, oh why, did I ever leave it?
Almost a year has passed, and I can say this for sure: there is no going back to vanilla. Even if the unthinkable happened and Tim left and took Rain with him, there is no going back to vanilla. Rain has been my companion every day for one year. I will never forget this year, because it is the year a stranger came into my life and showed me there's more to it than comfort, sameness, my way, safety--vanilla.
The funny thing is, Tim & I talked, talked, and talked about all the changes a child would bring into our lives, and ha! I still underestimated Rain. She took our little lives, politely admired their quaintness, and quickly deposited them into the kitchen disposal.
So what now? On her birthday, I will take her to a spot near where I live. There is a small wooded area that is always cool, no matter how hot the weather is. Once, when I was very pregnant, I walked past that spot as I was trying to exercise. I remember stopping there and wanting to talk to Rain. I told her all the things mothers tell their babies to let them know that it's safe to come out. I don't know how to explain it but perhaps to say that if you have ever been given something that was irreplaceable, something someone asked you to take care of that was precious to them, you have an idea of how I felt. I had this thought that Rain wasn't created by me but for me. It was humbling.
I told my belly how happy I was and thanked God for this chance at being more. Not at having more, but being more than vanilla.
Friday, May 9, 2008
Still Truckin'
Today is my birthday. It crept up on me while I was planning family birthdays in April, an event for my church, Rain's birthday later this month ...
Rain had been crying for most of the last 3 weeks from teeth troubles (or should I say, "no teeth troubles," because not a ONE has come through?), so my energy level has been low, low, low, low. Last night I expected her to wake me 3 or 4 times as usual, especially since we were sleeping on the couch (will explain later).
She woke me up once to nurse, then fell back asleep. This morning, she cuddled next to me. She stared at me for a while, but surprisingly, didn't try to get up. We relaxed for a while, and I thought maybe some how she knew she should be easy on me today.
We'll see if this holds up ...
As for sleeping on the couch, well, my bedroom was too full of junk because ...
We're packin' because we have a ratified contract for a house! Now, that's a birthday present!
Friday, May 2, 2008
Ain't That the Truth
http://www.vh1.com/video/play.jhtml?id=1583994&vid=209322
Lullaby for Wyatt
The world could fall apart
But you're my heart, my dear
I will sing this song
'Til we are gone, my dear
How do I keep you from losing your way?
Hope you'll go out and you'll come back some day
But love is letting go and this I'll know
'Cause you were mine for a time
I could shape your mind
But why waste time, my dear
There's so much more to know
Than I can show you, dear
How do I keep you from losing your way?
Hope you'll go out and you'll come back some day
But love is letting go and this I'll know
'Cause you were mine for a time
I have held you close
And breathed your name, my dear
I was with you then
And will remain, my dear
How do I keep you from losing your way?
Hope you will find love like I did some day
But love is letting go and this I'll know
'Cause you were mine for a time
Lullaby for Wyatt
The world could fall apart
But you're my heart, my dear
I will sing this song
'Til we are gone, my dear
How do I keep you from losing your way?
Hope you'll go out and you'll come back some day
But love is letting go and this I'll know
'Cause you were mine for a time
I could shape your mind
But why waste time, my dear
There's so much more to know
Than I can show you, dear
How do I keep you from losing your way?
Hope you'll go out and you'll come back some day
But love is letting go and this I'll know
'Cause you were mine for a time
I have held you close
And breathed your name, my dear
I was with you then
And will remain, my dear
How do I keep you from losing your way?
Hope you will find love like I did some day
But love is letting go and this I'll know
'Cause you were mine for a time
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