How Did it Happen?

Some mothers are handed their newborns and fall in love--instantly. Rain & I weren't like that. I'm not ashamed of it, because it's true. We approached each other with some caution, but then ... well, how did it happen?

Hit it, Chris Brown.

You mean to me
What I mean to you,



And together, baby,
There is nothing we won't do,



'Cause if I got you,
I don't need money,
I don't need cars,
Girl, you're my heart.

And, Oh! I'm into you,
And, girl, no one else would do,

With every kiss and every hug,
You make me fall in love,



And now I know I can't be the only one,
I bet they're heart's all over the world tonight,



With the love of their life who feels
What I feel when I'm with you

... Baby, you're the best part of my day.

Me & You Makes ... One (Part 2)

So Ma tells me that I should put Rain in a play pen (play yards, pack 'n' play, whatever). Play pens are basically roofless cages for babies. Sure, they've got a cushy bottom, but the high walls and cell-like shape certainly say, "Have a seat; you won't be leaving for a while."


I had been warned several weeks before by a friend that it was too late to put Rain in a pen. If she hadn't grown up with one, the chances of her liking one now were slim.


But, there I was, as usual, desperate. I had cancelled my gym membership, and the DVDs seemed like my last chance at losing post-delivery pounds. Every time I put an exercise DVD on, Rain would scream and wrap her tentacles around my knees. I felt like a bad mom and a pansy all at once.

So one day, I pulled out the play pen that I had never used. I set it up, and plopped Rain in with a few choice toys. I started the DVD and hoped for the best. Rain, at first, was puzzled. I peeked at her between jumping jacks, and her expression said, "Is this a new game? Should I be happy?" I smiled and cheered her for being so calm. (Note: You'd be surprised how well smiling changes a child's whole outlook. If you've ever seen a toddler take a tumble, sit up with a welt on his head, stare at his parents for confirmation--they, of course, smile and clap likes he's just laid a golden egg--so he smiles, shakes it off, and goes on, then you know what I'm talking about.)

I kept hopping about while Rain cruised along the walls of the pen. She played with her toys, but a five minutes later, the game was up. She figured out quickly that although we were in the same location, we were not really together. I was doing my thing, and she was doing hers. (Note to New Parents: Babies have a keen sense of "together." Don't try to do two things at once during play time. Rain has smacked a book out of my hands so many times like, "Hey! I'm talking to you!" that I can testify.)

She blew up, so as a responsible warden, I had to free her. For two or three days after my little felon was released, life on the outs was tough for all of us. Finally, I decided to try again. I fed her well, put her down for a nap, and when she woke up, I started my DVD.

I did the whole thing, and she didn't cry once. Was it because she had napped right before? Maybe. Was it the heavy meal? Perhaps. The truth is, I don't know. O ye fickle babes! One minute they love carrots, the next, only corn is in. Toys, books, and snacks go by the wayside the second something better--or, at least different--comes along. Pink is the new white, and shredded wheat is the new oatmeal. Ask any parent who ran out and bought a huge, price toy for her kid because her tot loved it at the store. Yeah, that sucker is still collecting dust somewhere, isn't it? I hear ya.

Swingin' in the Rain ...

Save Me From Myself

*"Me & You Makes ... One" will continue next time, honest*

I saw Denzel Washington's mama on TV once. She said she prayed that God would bless her children AND her children's children. Not a bad idea at all, I thought.

I saw no problem in asking God to protect my child from my own stupidity, so I did.

Months pass by ...

Some of you may remember when I won the BMOY award last year for allowing Rain to fall from our bed. I was devastated when it happened and told myself I would never be so foolish again.

Ahem. Let's pause a moment so my pride has a moment to leave the room.
...

So, the other day Rain fell asleep on our bed. She had so much trouble getting to sleep the past few days, that I was more than happy that she had finally taken a nap. I piled pillows around her as a safety net, and sat in the next room to work. Rain has a perfect internal clock. She naps for 35 minutes when she naps. Not 45, not 25, but 35 minutes.

I was deep into editing a newsletter, fifteen minutes later, when for no reason a thought--like a drop right into my brain--came to me: Rain!

Normally, when Rain wakes up, she cries out for me to get her. She hates spending even 1 minute longer in the crib than is required. I didn't hear her make any noise, but I hadn't expected her to while she was sleeping, either. I thought, "I'll check on her in a bit, and see if she's OK."

Even while I was thinking that, I got up and hurried to the bedroom. I don't know why I was rushing, but I was. There, smiling like she just won a gold medal in gymnastics, was Rain.

She had both hands on the bed, and one leg hanging off the side of it. She was exactly in the moment of crawling back one step off the edge. My bed is almost 3 feet off the floor, and thanks to the pillow wall I had created, was even higher.

I did the slide-save better than some baseball players have done. I did it all to the chant of, "Stupid, stupid, stupid! Mommy is so stupid!" I mean, c'mon! How many times does the kid have to injure herself before I change my ways?

To soothe my conscience, I cuddled Rain for the rest of the afternoon. I apologized several times. Rain didn't seem to mind as long as the love kept coming.

So, I raise my glass to Denzel's mama, for her sensible advice to help the senseless. Hear, hear!

PS- The next day I took Rain to have lunch with Tim while he was at work. I almost cancelled because Tim didn't know if he'd be able to (tons of work to do). We went anyway (hey, I'm trying to keep the marital fire burnin') and had a good time. Later, we found out there was a fire in the trees and brush behind our apartment while I was gone. The firemen came and put it out. There is a large patch of charred ground from the street to the back of our apartment. The fire missed our place (we are the first apartment on that corner) by about five feet. Thank God for watching over us; and help me to not be bitter against the smoker who tossed his cig in the brush! :)

Me & You Makes ... One

Rain is on me like the skin on a tomato. In the last two weeks, she's that I can do two things: play with her and watch her play. When I deviate from these, punishment is swift.

Two weeks ago, I cancelled my gym membership. The first reason I did this was because the gym closed too early for me to make use of it. The second reason--the real reason--is because I couldn't find anyone to babysit Rain while I worked out. The gym I was going to had a daycare, but guilt kept me from dropping Rain off. Do I really believe one of those lovely young girls working in the daycare would harm Rain? No. But, I worked in a preschool program before, and let me tell you, kids can hurt each other faster than you can say "lawsuit." The plain truth is that kids who can't defend themselves (can't run away from a situation or articulate to an adult what the problem is) are punching bags for the kids who can. I'm not only referring to bullies, either. There are kids who, because of their size, hurt other children without meaning to. Some kids play rough with their brothers and expect to play the same way with new friends. I want to go back to the gym eventually but not until Rain can walk and speak well enough to help herself. Unfortunately, that means another two years or so.

Hmmm.

I'm about 180 miles south of where I wanted to be in this blog entry, so let me get back on topic. OK, so I cancelled my gym membership, right? I went out and spent a pretty penny on new athletic shoes, weights, an exercise ball, and 2 workout DVDs. I've never owned exercise DVDs before, so I was excited to see how I'd do. I set Rain in her chair, gave her some snacks, and got to it.

Wow. The first DVD was fun and challenging, too. I loved it for about ... 15 minutes. This is when Rain realized I wasn't paying attention to her anymore. Sure, she had snacks and could see me five feet away, but I wasn't keeping eye contact with her. I couldn't play or talk to her while trying to follow the instructor. She cried and fussed so much that I put her on the floor. I figured she'd be happy once I let her crawl around.

How 'bout a big glass of NO? She was mad, mad, mad. She grabbed onto my feet, wailed, and crawled between my legs. At one point, I was standing doing weights while she stood with one hand on each of my knees. Hercules tried to topple me over, and I had to dance around the room to keep away. Ridiculous! I told her so, too.

"Baby, Mommy gave up her gym membership to make things easier for the both of us. Please don't be selfish," I said. Rain, of course, didn't care or understand. Her idea of exercise is, "Drop and give me 20 ... minutes of cuddling!" After starting and stopping the DVD several times, I quit. I took a shower to calm down. I was bitter. Why couldn't I have 30 minutes to do something that was good for me?

Tune in next time for "Cages: A Baby's Best Friend."

Where's My Mama?

MISSING MAMA?

Texas mom missing. Was last seen with infant daughter (who has had several days of diarrhea, low fever, and diaper rash). Mom had headache and congestion. She was last heard mumbling, "I'm too old for this." For more information, please call 1-800-NANNYS. Leave your name, number, and hours of availability--er--tips.