On Saturday, my mom was kind enough to watch Rain for me while I finished painting Rain's bedroom window. Several hours later, I returned to pick my kiddo up. I stepped into my mom's hallway and Rain stood there with her back towards me. She was babbling to my mom, and then she turned around and saw me. She smiled and ran towards me with her arms open.
In the past year, there were times when I thought I was the worst mom ever. I wasn't cut out for parenting, and why, oh why, did Rain have to scream about everything? But, there she was, running with her arms open, and I thought, "Wow, we're not perfect, but we still love each other!" I mean, how many times in my life is someone going to be so happy to see me that (s)he comes running at me with arms open? The only person who has ever run at me with so much enthusiasm before is my ma's shih tzu. Go figure.
We love each other, and with all the insanity that plagues our house daily, we keep afloat. But there are new parents out there, just like me, who are dealing with a lot more than just tantrums and diapers. As the writer in my previous blog entry so eloquently described, these parents are learning to love Holland when they had planned on a trip to Italy.
Before Rain was born, I pondered the terrible what if. What if she was sick or had a disability? What if I couldn't help her with it? Will I have what it takes to be her mom? I tried not to think on these things too long, because the answers were very, very frightening. God knows I don't have the spiritual and emotional maturity to hang on like many special parents do.
And then Rain was born. She was strong and beautiful. I, for the time being, had nothing to worry about. But, I did often wonder about those parents out there. The ones who were all dressed for Italy ...
Not too long ago, a fellow writer friend of mine (children's author Diane Roberts), showed me a photo of her granddaughter. Raeleigh ("Ray-lee") is about 5 months older than Rain, and in the photo, she had the same fair skin & wispy hair I had become familiar with.
Raeleigh, though, has what are called hemangiomas. Many of you have probably seen hemangiomas (they're common birthmarks) or had them yourselves. They often disappear after a kid turns two and are only a vague childhood memory. But Raeleigh's are a different, more aggressive kind. Hers have overtaken her chin and sides of her face so much so that she requires chemo and steroids to treat them.
Weeks afterwards, I thought about Raeleigh. Here her parents were constantly monitoring their baby's trachea tube, and all I had to deal with was Rain's passing hysterics. They were financing expensive medical treatments, and I was handing over a $15 co-pay for Rain's "wellness" visits. They celebrated every delayed developmental milestone, because hey, the milestone was met. We got to check of Rain's milestones as if the baby books were written especially with her in mind.
The point is, whether I acknowledge it every day or not, I have been enjoying a fabulous time in Italy. In the meantime, Raeleigh has been learning the ropes of Holland. Babies, whether because of sicknesses, disabilities, or impairments of any kind, are making it work in Holland. Italy and Holland are both beautiful, but the people of Holland deserve a hat-tippin', a kudos, a salute--something.
So.
Here we are.
Can you sense a favor comin', because I'm about ready to ask it?
Please, please, when you have a moment later today, or tonight after the kids are in bed, or tomorrow morning when you're sipping your coffee, check out something my sister & I built for Raeleigh:
It's nothin' flashy & we're still workin' out the kinks, but I truly have this flicker, this bit of hope, that everyone is going to help this one baby out. I know, I know: there are so many people that need help, so why this girl?
Because she's one you can help. She's not a nameless face. She just an innocent kid who got dealt a harsh hand. This is the first time I've ever used my God-given fingers to draw/write without benefiting myself financially in any sense because I believe people want to do right by this kid, if I can show them how. And, come on--who doesn't love turtles?
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