Part 2: The Rowdy

I've been pretty blunt 'bout my baby's personality. She looks like my husband (serious face and all), but she acts like me (*sigh*). Most parents tell me I should be thankful that Rain isn't mobile yet; once she starts crawling, they say, I'll wish she was still a cute lump lying in her crib. Maybe. I've often wished Rain could crawl, so she can finally entertain herself. She's never been the kind of baby that can be left in the crib for fifteen minutes while I finished up dishes. She always, always wants to be doing something, or more accurately, she wants to be a part of whatever I'm doing.

I completely understand her frustration, because I can't stand to sit still either. I like to do 2 or 3 things at a time, or 1 thing for 15 minutes. The idea of sitting around waiting for someone to pick me up to go anywhere I want to--bleh. This is why I sympathize with her, and I try to give her plenty to see when she's awake. We have fun playing together, and even when she's fighting sleep and screeching in protest, I don't mind so much. She trusts me, and we've just gotten used to each other. We accept each other's cranky moments for what they are: fleeting. That's why I don't cringe like I used to when she cries, because I know it's only temporary. It hardly bothers me at all ... until.

Until, that is, I'm around someone who has never (or not recently) spent a great deal of time around an infant. Parents out there, go ahead and nod: haven't you ever felt embarrassed by the sudden reminder that your child's screaming, for instance, is actually jarring? Sure, you've gotten used to it and hardly notice, but others? When I'm with my husband, it's no big deal if Rain cries for fifteen minutes while she tries to figure out how to fall asleep. Tim will walk to Rain's crib, give her a pacifier, rub her tummy, walk out, and continue working at his computer--all while Rain hollers. In a few minutes, she's asleep. But if someone was visiting us at the time? Now it's an issue. The focus becomes, "How can we get her to quiet down the fastest without bothering anybody?" That's when stress kicks in. I wish I could just say, "Hey, the kid's crying, and that's all there is to it. We promise she will stop ... eventually."

So on our road trip, I decided to visit my cousin who works at a large art museum. Can't you just see how this went awry? Anyway, Rain was very much cranky from having to sit in her car seat while I drove to the airport to pick up Tim (he had flown directly from California). Worse, we got lost downtown at the height of traffic. We arrived at the museum late (it would close in half an hour) with Rain hungry & cranky. I try to schedule outings after her feedings, but alas, getting lost tossed aside my chance to feed her.

Ten minutes into the museum tour guided by my cousin, Rain began to cry. I immediately took her to the bathroom to change her, and we continued on our tour. Five minutes later, Rain is crying. She's hungry. I try to offer her a pacifier, which she promptly rejected. My cousin is single, and I hoped Rain's fussiness wouldn't prohibit him from ever having children.

Rain cried louder. The museum was empty. EMPTY. They were preparing for a special event, so the museum was empty. Rain's cries reverberated off of every stark white wall, painting, and African mask. The sound is ten times louder to the parent of the screaming child, let me tell you.

What else could I do but stop and feed her? I felt awful. Being late and arriving with an angry baby? Yeah, I've had better dates. But, that's the thing. There's not much a new parent can do. My job is to meet my baby's demands for food and clean diapers the second she wants them. If I don't, uglier things will follow. I actually had an elderly woman say to me while Rain was crying for a clean diaper pronto, "Well, she's probably spoiled." Yeah, I thought, if only I had taught Rain to behave better when she was younger. Please!

So, to the childless: please have mercy on those with crying infants; they are probably just as exasperated as you. Now, if the child is 3 years old and throwing cereal boxes around at the grocery store? Feel free to click your tongue and roll your eyes.