I Only Have Eyes for You ...

My husband had Lasik done almost 2 weeks ago. This has been a trying time for all of us. Ladies, you should all know up front that Lasik doesn't actually improve your husband's home eyesight.

Tim: "Where's the remote?"
Me: "Next to you. Did you even look for it? Didn't think so ..."

So, to get the best rate for his Lasik, Tim went out of state where my brother-in-law works. Rain & I were left at home for three days to figure out how to survive without a mediator. Turns out, we need a mediator.

We had fun, to be sure. Let me just say this now to all those broken, forlorn parents out there with crying infants at home: just wait. When your kiddo gets close to 6 months old--well, it's golden. Yeah, they can still scream to resurrect the dead, but they laugh, too. They're all smiles when you walk into the room, and wait until you see them sit up and finally, yes finally, entertain themselves! And they eat, too! No longer does every single meal depend on mommy being present or mommy storing breastmilk ahead-of-time. Little jars of gold--baby food--can be bought/served by anyone in the family, releasing you from serving food 24 hours a day on call like IHOP.

OK, I'm getting carried away and can't remember what I was talking about in the beginning. *Rereading* OK, so Tim left town for Lasik, right? Well, our family dynamic changed, too. Before, I would've thought, "A baby won't notice if one parent splits town for a few days. They don't even care because, well, they're babies."

The little things shined a light on Tim's absence. I would give Rain her nightly bath and bottle like Tim does every night, and during the feeding she'd give me this look like, "How come I'm not getting my goods from the tap, since you're here? What's with the bottle?"

"I don't know," I felt like saying, "This is just the way we do it." When I'd take away the bottle, she'd turn to me for nursing, but change her mind and go back to the bottle. In the evenings, when Tim normally comes home from work, we'd get all energetic again. Rain usually takes a nap to prep herself for playtime with daddy, but at 7:00, we'd be staring at each other like, "What's next?" I couldn't start my work until she was asleep, so we'd just play quietly until it was time for bed.

I ended up going out more than normal. I kept myself out of the apartment a lot, in fact. When I did stay home, I found that I became too much of a putz with Rain. Is she cried trying to fall asleep (which she does every night), I'd run in there to save her (read: train her to depend on my presence to relax). Tim is so hardcore; he can hear Rain wail and say, "She'll fall asleep eventually." And she always does.

Truth be told, Tim's the one who got her to hold her bottle when she was only a few months old. I was too busy sMOTHERing her to think about her independence. Even when we leave the apartment, I act as though Rain's still a newborn:

Me: "Why did you put her in her car seat already? I'm not finished dressing, and she hates sitting in her seat as it is. At least give her a toy ..."
Tim: (*stares at me until I feel shame, then resumes casually getting baby bag together*)

Tim's home now, thank goodness. Rain and I needed our buffer back.

Epilogue (days after Lasik):
Tim: "Wow, the tub looks so clean. Did you scrub it?"
Me: "Yeah, like two weeks ago."
Tim: "Oh ... it's because I can finally see the tub floor."

AND

Tim: "I have wrinkles under my eyes."
Me: "You do?"
Tim: "Maybe I've always had them ..."