There are so many things I wish I had the time and elegance to tell you about our adventure raising Rain. Today she is 7 months old. Some days I feel like she is on her way to being a brilliant, kind citizen of this world. Other days, I feel like she'll be writing her memoir from prison, and I will be the person she will acknowledge as the key influence in her life.
I don't know how it is for other mothers; I can only tell you my experience. My experience so far is this: every single day, because of Rain, I constantly reassess the person that I am. Am I too stern? Too lenient? Do I show her how to love? Is she playing enough? Learning enough? I guess if I had to strip it down, I'm really asking myself, "What do I look like to her?"
The pressure is on, folks. The plain truth is, if Rain is a horrible 5-year-old in a few years, there is no one to blame but myself. TV, grandparents, friends--there is no greater influence on her life than my husband and me, but let's be blunt: I am her central manual for How to be a Decent Human. I am with her the majority of the day. No one is in contact with her more than me. *shiver*
This was our first Christmas with Rain. We watched her gleefully tear apart wrapping paper from all the gifts she received from friends and family. She was thrilled with the paper, and the fact that there were gifts hidden inside was fun, too. She was happy just to have us there to play with her. I thought, "This is Christmas."
So, to everyone who has followed our journey with Rain since I was pregnant at this time last year until now: Happy Holidays! Peace and joy in the new year.
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