What Will You Learn?

I'll start with honesty: the first time I heard about homeschooling, I thought, "That is the dumbest idea I've ever heard." I mean, why homeschool when public school is free, right? Not only that, I pretty much had the same objection that, I think, a lot of people do: how will the child get any social skills?

At that time, I did not know any homechooled kids, let alone "unsocialized" homeschooled kids; but who needs evidence when you've got the verdict, right?

I finally did meet homeschooled kids. Where? In the public art classes I used to teach and a few at church. What surprised me most about these kids--I realize I'm generalizing here, but the similarities were pretty striking--is that they were not anti-social at all. In fact, they were quite talkative and open, especially to adults. Why is that?

A side note here: I could go on about how well-read and obviously intelligent these kids were. I could also talk about how wonderful most public school teachers and administrators are. But, neither of these things are my focus at the moment.

Tonight (or shall I say, early this morning?), my thoughts are troubled. Over the last few days. I've been thinking a lot about some teenagers I know. Recently, I was introduced to a pair of teenage girls I had not seen for many years. Now, let's be real here. A lot of times (at least in the U.S.), teens can be a bit standoffish when they interact with adults. Some are openly hostile when goaded--mainly, by their parents--to speak with anyone over 21. So, I was expecting the usual forced politeness and short answers when I met the aforementioned girls.

I was a bit stunned, therefore, when they began freely talking about their lives, future goals (one wants to be a Navy pilot, and the other a classical musician), and family. A minute into the conversation, I realized why these girls were so easy at conversation: they were homeschooled. By now, I've had enough interactions with homeschooled kids to know that they have this weird (by that, I mean uncommon) outgoing way with conversation tinged with (here's the odd part) a sort of innocence.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that the homeschooled kids I've met aren't jaded. It's taken me several years to put my finger on it, and that's it. Even after all the bright homeschooled kids I met, the thing that has me seriously concerned about public school is I don't want Rain to be jaded.

Again, I'm not downing public school or even discussing the level of education here. As a product of public school, however, I'm gonna lay it out there: the years from junior high to high school are cruel and unusual punishment. We all know it.

Truthfully, I had a great time in high school. But, I do wonder how much more meaningful and rich an experience I would have had if I had not dealt with all the drama. I know several teens in high school now, and all I can think is, "How did your self-esteem get so low? Where is your confidence? Why won't you let yourself excel like you know you can?"

But I know the answer already. Those of you who have had enough time away from high school to have a different perspective can probably admit the truth, too. Public school is like filming on location in Lord of the Flies.

Yeah, I could blow it off as, "Well, the kids who are strongest will survive, and the rest will just suck it up and manage somehow."

But that's the thing: some don't manage. They become withdrawn, angry, depressed, and even suicidal. If nothing else, we have a bunch of kids pessimistic about Life before they've ever had a chance to really live one.


My problem with all of this is that I don't want Rain to be one of those kids. I don't want her to have to "perform" to an audience of her peers rather than educate herself. Again, I know some will brush this off as, "Well, they have to learn how dark the world is some day, so they might as well start now."

Really? First, the world isn't completely filled with darkness, so how about we focus and expand the points of light we have? Second, why should they learn about the cruelties of the world at an age when they don't have good tools to handle them?

Some of these teens, especially girls, do not have the skills it takes to overcome criticism and search the horizon for better days. Many come from broken homes. Others have low self-esteem (which is to be expected, since TV and magazine ads basically say, "We know what's wrong with your body! Buy this ____, and we'll fix the problem!"). Some teens are simply lost. I don't like the idea of throwing these kids together for eight hours a day and hoping for the best.

Is private school the answer? Homeschooling? Part-time public schooling? I don't know, but I'm definitely starting to ask questions.