Growing

The hard part about being a mom, for me anyway, is that Life has accelerated. Rain is changing, and I have to change, too. The pace of growth from newborn to toddler is insane. One day, we brought this baby home, and she was pretty much a cute sack of flour. She didn't talk, move, or show any real preference for things, but she was irresistable.

Almost two years later (Rain's birthday is next month), she is unrecognizable. She runs like a gazelle, she calls, "Ma!" like a teenager, and if there are peas and chocolate on a plate, chances are good, she'll eat the peas first (Tim finds this shockingly embarassing).

She is everywhere, and I live in a state of controlled panic. If the house is quiet for 3 minutes, I know she is either:
1. Playing in the toilet water
2. Running on top of our long bathroom counter
3. Eating dirt
4. Trying to change her own Pull-Up (as helpful as this sounds, it always ends in disaster)
5. Rolling on the floor in a tussle with her cousin

This goes on all day long. Every few days, she gets inventive, and I'm left thinking, "She's found a new way to kill herself! That makes eighty-seven!"

All the while, days and weeks pass, and before I know any better, a month is gone. Carolyn Hax said it best: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/05/22/AR2007052201554.html

Two days ago, Rain said, very sweetly, "I yuv oo." I, seriously, sort of blushed. You love me? All the crying, kicking, screaming, pooping in your pants, eating dirt stunts, and you really love me? I know this makes me pathetic, but it was worth it. When something around Rain bothers her, when she's scared, she comes to me and hides in my arms. She knows that I will protect her. It is the first time in my life anyone has expected and completely trusted that I could do such a thing.

Every time I put Rain down to sleep, I stare at her for a second and think, "How did this happen? How did you just show up one day and become necessary?" Rain is essential. I don't know how babies do it, but if you let them, they plant themselves in your life and grow into every aspect of it. Before long, the only scary thought is how far you would go to keep that baby safe and growing.

To all the newbie 'rents out there with screaming infants in their hands: may God bless and have pity on our floundering souls! Hold fast, and you, too, may hear the words that soften every parent's heart:

"I'm moving out."

Er, I mean, "I yuv oo."