Texas has plenty of long, straight roads. Every once in a while at night, I find myself in this daze (cover your ears, Texas Department of Transportation), following the car lights in front of me like some licensed mosquito. Miles later, I'll stir from my stupor and think, "How did I get here?"
Being a mom is kind of like that. I've gotta a toddler, but hey, I'm still cruising along on my young woman highway. Then one day, I look up from cruise control, and bam! I'm 30, and momisms are slipping out of my mouth.
Yesterday, I was alone in the car and late (as always). This guy decides to spin out into my lane from a side street, and I have to do some fancy break-action (not like a Bond movie or anything, but tricky for a sedan). To express my dismay towards this reckless individual, I slam my wheel and bellow, "Thanks a lot, Mr. Jerky Pants!"
Yep, that's what I hollered. What am I gonna say if Tim ever cheats on me? "How could you, Mr. Bad Britches? "
What's next? "Goodness me" and "Bless my heart?" After that comes holiday vests and Christmas pins. Matching animal print pantsuits, here I come! Aghhhhh!
(*breath, breath*)
Ok, maybe I'm getting paranoid, but it's time to take off the cruise control, or I'm gonna be sporting a pilgrim vest by Thanksgiving.
2 comments:
Even before motherhood, Jerk Pants was one of my favorite terms! Now in mommyhood, everything is something-pants. Currently our family consists of: Mommy Pants, Daddy Pants and Baby Pants. Not sure what is wrong with us? Excellent Blog Old Lady Pants.
Hahahahahahaha!! I can't add to that, because I'm going down the same road!
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