Keeping My Wits About Me

The hardest thing for me, and probably a lot of parents, is how do I--bombarded by my baby's cries, advertising, and social expectations--remain reasonable towards my child? What I mean is, how do I keep from spoiling and overreacting when it comes to Rain?

You've seen it: a boy in a store hollerin' at his parents for a new toy, a toddler faking tears to get her mommy to carry her, a child celebrating his first birthday with trappings snazzier than a wedding. Parents can't expect help from any corner, either. Advertisers in parenting magazines and TV are relentless about "give your child ____, and she'll be the happiest kid on the block." Isn't that what I want? Having the happiest kid makes me the best parent, doesn't it?

Before Rain was born, I worked in a preschool program. We constantly celebrated birthdays. Some parents were reasonable and brought homemade cupcakes for the class, sang "Happy Birthday," and snapped a few photos. Others ... well, the children became the audience for parents determined to outdo each other. I've seen the same thing done for kids as young as one, and I ask ya, who's the party really for? The sleeping baby with a party hat surrounded by strangers? Be realistic, people! That kid would be just as happy with a balloon and tub of frosting at home.

So, today is Halloween. A month ago I bought Rain a cute Pooh Bear onesie with an autumn theme. She has worn it once a week, so I feel I got my money's worth. A friend got Rain a Halloween T-shirt, hat, and mitts which Rain will wear tonight. Did I buy Rain a costume? No. Through the "but it's her first Halloween" complaints, I haven't budged, though I can't say I wasn't tempted. Rain doesn't know or care what today is, so why should I buy a pricey costume she'll wear for an hour before it's her bedtime?

The experts say you can's spoil a child as young as Rain. I think real people (that's right, I'm not sure experts are real people) know that babies are much more clever than people give them credit for. They quickly learn that crying (tears optional) will bring about the results they want. At first, Rain's crying was necessary to alert me when she was lacking essentials, but after a few months, she has learned crying has so much more potential, so much more (muah ha ha). Since babies come from the hospital completely helpless, plenty of parents don't see (or want to see) them grow and change. This is why some parents get up at 3 A.M. every night to comfort their three-year-olds--they still treat their kids as if they just left the hospital.

Must go! Rain is crying. Maybe she's hungry or mad? Must find out, must find out ...