Every Breath You Take

Every breath you take

And every move you make

Every bond you break,

Every step you take

I'll be watching you
Every single day

And every word you say

Every game you play

Every night you stay

I'll be watching you
Oh, can't you see

You belong to me?

Did the Police pen these words, or did Rain? Over the past two or three weeks, Rain has shown a definite preference for my presence. Of course, you say, you're her mother. Yes, but I'm almost embarrassed by how much she insists on keeping me at arm's length (remember, her arms ain't that long). When I put her down to do anything, she whimpers. So, I lay her on a blanket in the doorway of our kitchen just so she can watch me cooking, for instance. When friends hold her, she turns her head to follow where I'm going (which is to the nearest bathroom, since I probably haven't gone in hours). Even when family members hold her, she turns to the sound of my voice. Admittedly, this is is both sweet and (*guilty smile*) a bit flattering. There are also times, though, when I'd prefer her to deactivate the crosshairs on me.

It's not just that I can't take a shower without her bawling, "Where, or where, have you gone, Mommy?" It's not that I can't even step in front of the grocery cart for a minute without her grunting disapproval. Specifically, I feel bad when, late in the evening when Rain is the crabbiest, she won't let Tim comfort her. I mean, here the man works all day to take care of his little lady, and when he tries to calm her during a fit, well, only Mommy will do. She'll wail as he walks her around, bouncing and snuggling her. Eventually, Tim gives up and hands her to me. Immediately she stops crying, and I feel like blushing.

"I don't carry her all day, honest!" I want to offer. "She's probably just hungry. Maybe she's got a dirty diaper or ..." But the truth is obvious: she wants me to hold her. But, I'm persevering and insisting that Tim & Rain do some things together sans Mommy. Tim bathes her by himself every other day and gives her bedtime bottle to her most nights. She protests when he takes her from me, but if I don't intervene, she eventually accepts that it's Daddy's turn for cuddlin'.

They always have a good time together, though she does peek at me now and then to remind me, "Oh, can't you see? You belong to me ..."