When I was pregnant, I never let my mind contemplate how much my body would change after delivery. I comforted myself quickly, saying, "Sure, my body will be different for a while, but eventually, things will wander back to normal."
Hours after my labor, I was sore, bleeding, and exhausted. When I went home, I didn't get to hop into bed, be pampered, and heal at my leisure. A newborn baby, who I and my husband were completely responsible for, was crying to have her needs met. My days became filled with thirty-minute trips to the bathroom (sit down for a 20-minute Sitz bath, use witch hazel pads, spray anesthetic on or a steroid-enhanced foam, & apply ice pack), eating whatever food I could prepare in five minutes (though my mom & sister were kind enough to make my family dinner for the first week), and sleeping in spurts throughout the day. It didn't take long for me to feel and look awful.
Worse, when I was pregnant and chubby, at least I felt the weight was merited. I left the hospital smaller than when I had come in, but not by much (big downer, by the way). Now I'm chubby with no baby to account for the weight--ugh. It's been 10 weeks since Rain was born, and I was finally cleared by my doctor last week to begin exercising again. Because of the breastfeeding, twenty-two pounds have dropped off me since I gave birth without me lifting a finger. The rest, however, will have to be yanked off by pure exertion. Yeah, I think it will be as fun as it sounds.
So, today I went to the gym for the first time.
At one point, I was in tears ... and not for the reason you're thinkin'.
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