The other thing that's changed my relationship with TV is watching children on reality shows and specials. Of course, I expected shows like To Catch a Predator to, as a parent, make me nauseous. What I didn't expect is how personally I'm taking any hint of child abuse on television. Obviously, I've always felt child abuse is wrong, but had I ever taken personal, emotional offense to it? Perfect example: I was watching a talk show the other day where a young couple admitted to fighting relentlessly in front of their 10-month-old son. They would curse and hit while their son looked on. They showed a video clip (taken by the father) where the couple basically got in each other's faces yelling. At one point, the camera turned to the child. The boy seemed passive with a blank stare, as if not sure what to make of the sounds around him. His innocence, the fact that he could do nothing about the dangerous situation he was in, and the knowledge that he--through no fault of his own--would probably have to endure a terrible childhood at the hands of people he loved, made me sad. Sad! A year ago, after having seen the same thing, I might have said, "Oh, that's so sad," but what I really would've meant was, "That kid had bad luck in the parent lottery. Hope things work out for him... Did I remember to take that red T-shirt out of the pile of whites I dumped in the washer this morning? Because last time ..."
Another example: I was watching a news program about young girls who have decided to give their children up for adoption. These girls would hold their babies for days to a week or more before handing them to their new parents. As I watched them cuddle their babies like they were dolls, then give them up, I was appalled. Yeah, I said it, I was appalled. I was actually crying, saying, "Why are the babies taking the punishment for having irresponsible parents? Where are the boyfriends? Man up! Quit school, get a job, and take care of your kids instead of passing them off and continuing your lives like nothing happened!" Yep, I told those kids to QUIT SCHOOL. Go ahead, send the hate mail I deserve.
Over the hum of Tim saying, "Honey, calm down. It's OK. Just calm down ...," I was sobbing, "Those babies will know that the first thing in the world they knew was rejection. These girls and their pathetic boyfriends don't deserve the rest of their childhoods!" And on and on (and on) I went. If I had seen the same program a year ago, I would've said, "That's so irresponsible for these kids to be making babies. Oh well, at least there are parents willing to adopt them." Maybe it's hormones, maybe my perspective has changed forever; I don't know. The point is, I can't watch kids on TV anymore without emotionally detaching myself in a way that is necessary to, well, watch kids on TV.
Woe unto me the next time I happen to catch a "Feed the Children" program ...
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2 comments:
*smiles*
Hormones may play a slight role in the way you feel, but overall, your perspective has changed. That's what it means to become a parent.. it never gets any easier to watch kids being mistreated or what not. It's a good thing though.. it shows you that you can think of others rather than yourself and the little world around you. I'm proud of you, kid.
Well, I'm still not sure how I feel about the adoption thing. I know a lot of parents want to adopt kids, and they should. I guess it just bugged me that it seemed like the teenage girls (by the way, where were the boyfriends??) on the show were making a tough situation worse ... but for the babies. I don't know how I feel about it all yet; I think I'm more confused than before.
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